24 Weeks already!

I cannot believe how time is flying along with our little miracle.

6 months in!

Our lil man is bustling around inside me keeping himself busy and playing away.

Next appointment is 3 days after Christmas for the dreaded Glucose Tolerance Test but there will be a scan in the middle of it so we are looking forward to seeing him again! Yay!

Well its time to change the tune.. Good News (for a change)

Well it has been one tough secret to keep and perhaps I didn't keep it as close as I should have but the excitement was too much.

On Friday the 13th of July we got our first ever BFP!

We had an early scan at 7 weeks as our nerves (well my nerves) were driving me crazy as this has never happened before after eight years of trying.

Baby was perfect size for 7 weeks and we could see the heart beat, it was such a relief!

 

Then the sickness started. Straight after this scan. Typical!

 

Last Friday we had our first maternity meeting and had bloods taken etc... and our second scan, a day short of 11 weeks.

Baby was lying down just waving at us and again we saw a heartbeat.



Knowing when to get over yourself

So last week was a horrible week for me, a complete low filled with self pity and crying sessions I have got up out of my wallowing misery and dusted myself off.
There are only 5 days left for this cycle (if not less going by the way my body is feeling today), I have to keep aiming for the positive sides of trying to conceive a baby and keep saying:
"Onwards and Upwards baby"

Not only am I trying to conceive at the moment but I am trying to stop Molly from conceiving, she has gone into her second heat just as we were about to get her neutered... AGAIN!

I have started hiding status updates that all about kids etc... cut out the things that influence my negativity.
I need to concentrate on other things, get on with my life, my mam is really down at the moment, I think it is only now that its hitting her that her sister is gone, I am hoping to get home soon to spend some time with her.
I need to get focused for the new semester of college in September.

ONWARDS & UPWARDS!

Inside I am breaking decibel levels..

that even a dog could not tolerate.
I just want to scream but I have to hold my composure.

Looks like our treatment if it goes ahead at all will be delayed again by another few months.

So waiting now to find out if funding is there or not.

I hate my life right now

Social Media "share" status' and pics are getting to me

You know the ones, share if you are a Mom etc...
Here's an example

or

Well my facebook homepage is constantly showing me these pictures, sayings etc...  constantly reminding me of how I am failing in achieving a status of motherhood.

"My children are the reason I wake up each morning, The Reason I Want To Breath ... And The Reason My hair is falling out, My house is a mess & I'm Crazy!" (Anon, 2012).
Today I am seriously not able for these status', and of course I know if we do ever get this elusive pregnancy with hopefully a baby at the end I will be just as bad but for now... for now I cant take it.

I would love to start posting pics of how hard it is to try and conceive with everyone shoving their pregnancies or babies in my face on there everyday but I dunno how my husband would feel about it, how I may segregate myself from family and friends.

Lets see over the next few days if I can muster the courage to even post the picture from yesterday's blog, that might be a start?

Wish I had the BALLS to wear this...

It would stop those questions I get regularly;
"So do you have kids yourself?"

I don't think I would though cause I guess I am a whimp that way LOL

picture courtesy of:
http://www.cafepress.co.uk/mf/29224865/no-kids-yet-ttc_tshirt

I thought this one was funny too but I dont think my husband would appreciate it, its a lot of pressure having it said out like that lol...

A Year today we lost our beloved Becky

She was the Best dog ever.
She had such a character, so loving, so gentle with children just an all round great dog.

She passed from a quick agressive leukemia.
I am so glad I got some last shots of her that morning before she left us.
Hard to believe from the pictures she was only 9

She lost so much weight so fast.
Sleep tight my sweet angel.

There is a bridge connecting Heaven and Earth
It is called Rainbow Bridge because of its colors
Just this side of the Rainbow Bridge there is a land of
meadows , hills and valleys with lush green grass.
When a beloved pet dies, the pet goes... to this place
There is always food and water and warm spring weather
The old and frail animals are young again. Those who
Are maimed are made whole. They play together all day.
There is only one thing missing, they are not with
their special person who loved them on earth.
Each day they run and play until the day comes
When one suddenly stops playing and looks up !
The nose twitches! The ears are up! The eyes are staring!
And this one suddenly runs from the group.
You have been seen, and when you and your special friend meet
You take him or her in your arms and embrace
Your face is kissed again and again and you look once
more into the eyes of your trusting friend.
Then you cross the Rainbow Bridge together,
Never again to be separated.