2012 is finally here

It's a new dawn, it's a new day!
Thank feck 2011 is well and truely gone and I can only wish, hope and pray 2012 is a better one.

Good tidings to all.

Christmas done for another year...

Well another fruitless Christmas has been and gone, what a horrible horrible Christmas, having to smile and pretend that I am having a great time.
My poor husband, I really dont know how he sticks with me, I seem so ungrateful for all he does for me, he spent a small fortune on presents for me and I am still a grumpy miserable cow.
All I want to do is cry and all I do is day dream about being pregnant or holding my very own baby, with friends having babies or announcing pregnancies I have to keep smiling and showing how delighted I am for them.
I dont begrudge them but just hate not having a baby of our own.
I feel so lonely and cant talk about it cause I know everyone is sick of hearing about our problems.

My husband is on a major journey of his own at the moment and I feel I am distracting him from this with my ranting and raving, bawling in self pity etc...
I am crying at any little emotional thing on tv, the sickly butterflies well up in my stomach and a feeling of choking in my throat. I hate feeling like this but I really cannot face another Christmas like this.

Another Cycle

Was on a real downer all day guess it was due to cycle day 1 but it was really hard (Friday 23rd December 2011).
Buying Christmas presents for nieces and nephews, being in toy shops with kids running around all excited about Christmas and here I am again with another unsucessful cycle.

I know I am not the only one in this position and that it's just as hard on my husband but I really hate the world and myself for being so useless in becoming a mother.
I am crying at every little thing.
Why is life so cruel?

So Upset Re IUI...

Spoke to the nurse in the Fertility Clinic this morning.

Because of HSE cutbacks, even though we were approved.
It wont go ahead until at least August and even at that we cannot guarantee it.

To say I am raging/upset/disappointed is an understatement

I feel like crying. Still have to tell my hubby when he gets home from Dublin.

Here's hoping the preverbial doesnt hit the fan...

D-Day tomorrow, first of 5 exams.

If there was an example of a bad student it would be me (even if I am a mature student and should know better).
My tips for anyone who reads this down the line and is studying, forget the housework, other half, dogs etc.. for 2 hours every evening and do the feckin study!
Don't mind the soaps its easy catch up on them, do the study!

I am in the preverbial now and the more I try to study this weekend the less I remember.
screwed.com